Hot Tips for Anxiety
by me, an expert (in having anxiety)
I didn’t always have anxiety. Until a few years into owning the bookstore, I would say that my anxiety was usually about being on time. I am still very serious about being on time, but now I am so many OTHER anxieties that when I think about being on time, it’s like a sweet old friend, like oh, how cute.
Anyway, if you too experience anxiety, here are some things that I have started to do that are helping me. Maybe they will also help you! And if you have other suggestions for me, including taking anti-anxiety medication, please, holler.
Being outside
I’m a city girl so this one took me a minute to figure out, but it turns out that the outside world is pretty calming. Fresh air! Walking! Crunchy leaves, birds, sticks, all of it. Who knew!
Meditating
Listen, I never said these were going to be ground-breaking suggestions. Do I know if I’m doing it right? No. Do I mistrust the combination of an app on my phone and the concept of meditating? Yes. But it’s what I’ve been doing, and I love it. I downloaded three different apps and so far Ten Percent Happier is my favorite. I’m not sure about Dan Harris—there is something very appealing about his reformed-curmudgeon approach, but there’s also something smarmy. I don’t know! But he has a great app! And does good interviews! And I like the way the meditations are organized into series, and I genuinely feel like I’m learning good, immediately useful skills. I also like his podcast. Sorry, Dan! I don’t know! Maybe it’s just his newscaster hair.
The Power Broker
I’m on volume 3, which means I’ve already listened to about forty hours of Robert Moses being an absolute drama queen. This only helps with my anxiety when I wake up at 2am and start having catastrophic thoughts in a thousand directions. Good old Robert always puts me right back to sleep. I’m surprised I don’t dream about highways.
Exercise (this one is theoretical)
It would help, I know it would. The only yoga studio I ever loved is gone. I need a new one. Do you have one you love? Is it within a ten minute walk from my front door?
Therapy
Obviously. We make each other laugh. I love her.
Cats
How do people without animals do happiness? This is a real question. This is my cat sitting in my hat.
Friends
When life is hectic/bad, I am also hectic/bad at seeing friends. The one thing I am good at is Marco Polo. I only do it with a small handful of people, but there are three friends who I send videos back and forth with on a pretty much daily basis, and it makes me remember that I have good friends who care about the minutia of my life, and my kids, and my anxieties, and I love it.
A hot shower
This also works for grumpy children. Just get them in the bathtub and it will be better.
What are yours? Don’t be stingy!
I love all of these suggestions. My biggest game changer since becoming a mom 7 years ago and developing such FUN CONSTANT ANXIETY, is Zoloft. 100mg. Love it, changed the entire game. No more racing thoughts, trying to predict catastrophes and prevent them, over planning or needing 1000 specific things to be *just so* for peace of mind. Some therapy along the way for rough patches, and yes connecting with others and having a sense of purpose that isn’t just raising my child.
Ah anxiety, my old friend. I have been anxious my entire life. As a kid I was called a worrywart. Oh how cute. Not. Eventually I was diagnosed in adolescence and have been struggling or managing it since then. All this to say: I am a freaking expert on anxiety! You had some great suggestions, especially being outside and connecting with friends. I call it my toolbox and my therapists have helped me stock it over the years.
Here are some more:
1. Medication if necessary. I have friends who swear by cbd but I’ve never tried it. I am in love with Buspar, a recent addition to my life and I’ve had success with both Zoloft and Celexa. I have not had much luck with Xanax but it is popular.
2. Outdoors is important but sunshine is also a really big key for me. If you can’t get outside, try to get near a window and soak up the sunshine when it’s there.
3. Recognize that this too shall pass. My favorite therapist ever told me this mantra: Nothing lasts forever. So even when you’re in the throes of a bad anxiety spiral, it is not going to last forever, because nothing, good or bad, does.
4. Making lists and creating a schedule. Nothing makes an anxious person happier than the illusion of control. Seeing what I have coming up on my calendar and having a to do list makes my anxious brain calm down.
5. Comfy reads/watches: I have several books I reread whenever I’m having a rough patch and need a little brain snuggle. I also like to rewatch certain shows or movies when I need some relief. Schitts Creek is great for this. So is Dirty Dancing.
6. Coloring books. I know they’re a thing now but I used to just buy dollar tree carebear or whatever ones and some crayons and color away and it was so soothing to my brain. A simple focused distraction.
I hope some or all of these help you and anyone else having a hard time.