Things That Help
Podcasts, Crafting, Books, and Food Recs from the Bottomless Pit
There’s a Goop episode of Maintenance Phase.
Schitt’s Creek, again.
Russ and Daughters’ Rugelach. (The superior rugelach, I must say.)
Matzoh Ball soup.
Dave’s Killer Bread, fancy butter, jam.
Cats.
Art coming home from school again.
Friends who text or call every day.
Hetty McKinnon’s tofu and bok choy situation.
Sculpy.
Quordle. (My brain is not at its best, and I’ve only gotten the full Quordle once, but it’s fun to try.)
Real mail.
My mom. My husband. My kids.
Real mail that says “it’s been two weeks. I’m still thinking about you.”
My new clip-on sunglasses, which make school drop-off and pick-up easier.
Ross Gay’s Book of Delights.
Taking notes.
Picking up the telephone.
Staying home in my little hole.
Using one of my dad’s pens.
Just saying hello from the void.
xoxo
When my mom died, I remember reading somewhere that when a loved one dies, your relationship with them doesn't end, it just changes. It goes on, but in a different form. That gave me a lot of comfort at the time and I can tell you that eighteen years later, it's true. I still "talk" to my mom most days, still laugh with her about things only she would find funny, still rely on her advice. She's been gone a long time now, but she's truly ever-present. I know your dad will be that way as well.
Grief is terrible, losing a parent or parental figure can be world shifting. Thanks for sharing the small glimmers of light in your life for now. Those glimmers will grow and expand like light burning through film, and then the grief will settle at the edges of your peripheral vision. It will still be there, but it will change and develop and contextualize everything that's important.
At least that's how I've experienced it.
Pete seems like an amazing person, I'm so happy you got to have him and that you have your family and delicious food to get you through now. <3