We just lost my husband’s 97 year old mom = 11 kids 22 grands and 8 great grands. He and I held her hands as she passed and her last words were “Good Memories” 🩵. He had his one year cancer follow up scans this week and all is clear 🩵. Life is a dizzying rollercoaster of love and loss and some days, weeks, months, years, it’s hard to hang on, but Emma, many days, good books are our refuge. Thank you for sharing your light with us, we truly are in this together. 🩵
Thank you posting this today, it’s exactly what I needed. August is hard for me for similar reasons (my birthday bookended by both my parents death anniversaries, too much too do, lost friendships). You writing was a needed reminder that I need to have more of the fun stuff, even if it’s going to see Barbie for a third time because it is so so much fun. I also will have I’m Just Ken stuck in my head for eternity it seems and I’m okay with that.
Oh, Emma…That is a lot of heavy in the heaviest (to me) month of them all. I’m impressed that you were able to pull yourself over to the desk to write this newsletter (and share the tidbits at the bottom…book looks like it needs to be added to my TBR pile.) Hang in there…September cometh…
I'm so proud of you for finding joy through the grief. My parents' death anniversary is September 5th. That week is hard for me even after 30 years. I'm not going to say it gets easier, it doesn't. Your tolerance just expands.
I love when you share memories of your father with us. I'm sure he loves it too. 💕 Sending you a squeeze through the ether.
Thank you for posting this. I have had several friends’ deaths this past month as well as the anniversary of my brother’s death at 33. It was 32 years ago but is still quite difficult. I have tried to keep my life “normal” as well, knowing that all of these people, if they could, would be telling me to enjoy the rest of my life. It is so fragile.
Loved your email. Reading it made me tear up. My husband lost his father a year ago. Grief can be so lonely and isolating and all consuming. It's really good that you said "yes to invitations" as we've found that relief from the grief and the surprise at enjoying life can be such a balm, if even only a temporary one.
Loss of every kind (and the grief that follows) is something we all have in common. It's so helpful to share and support each other. Glad to hear you're finding a way through. Keep going and take care.
I'm so sorry for your losses. Your mother's friend, your friend, your father, the person who disappeared from your life. Grief is a tough battle to fight. All of your readers love you and are here for you each and every day.
Thanks for your post, the first I've read of yours. I would not have been inclined to revisit my August horror stories had I not stumbled upon your SubStack. Karma?! Last August, while on holiday with our two dogs in a remote Spanish hill town, we had to put the elder of the two down when he became deathly ill. We and other dog were bereft. When we returned home to LA, our other dog died, literally, of a broken heart. It was gut wrenching. And then there's my mother, who killed herself twenty one years ago August 28th. My father had already successfully done the same several months earlier. I rarely talk about it and only wrote about it once which felt like enough. Despite being a writer and writing "teacher," encouraging people to reveal their own stories, I don't like to revisit mine. This post is a big step!
Thank you for putting into writing so beautifully exactly what I’m feeling now, too. My Dad also fell and broke his hip 1 year ago, and we also thought he’d pull through. Apparently when you break a hip and have cancer, it can make the cancer very angry. I was still struggling so much with the recent loss of my Dad, when I lost my Mom this May. Through her loss, there’s been a lot of heartbreak, betrayal, and tragedy. All this to say -- I feel this so strongly. And I appreciate you putting into words what I can’t. Xo
Thank you so much for taking time to write, Emma.. you give us so much to think about. It’s like sitting with you on my back porch, cold lemonade and fresh mint from the garden. Hummingbirds hovering way too close. A slice of tomato pie. You are a good friend and a joy.. and I hope you find peace this month and every season.
I met your dad briefly at a How I Learned show and basically the only thing I remember about meeting him is how much he adored you, because it was so clearly plastered all over his face.
Wishing you well in a tough month. Here in England it has rained for weeks, ever since July the 15th when it rained on St Swithins Day. The old curse is back.
We just lost my husband’s 97 year old mom = 11 kids 22 grands and 8 great grands. He and I held her hands as she passed and her last words were “Good Memories” 🩵. He had his one year cancer follow up scans this week and all is clear 🩵. Life is a dizzying rollercoaster of love and loss and some days, weeks, months, years, it’s hard to hang on, but Emma, many days, good books are our refuge. Thank you for sharing your light with us, we truly are in this together. 🩵
Thank you posting this today, it’s exactly what I needed. August is hard for me for similar reasons (my birthday bookended by both my parents death anniversaries, too much too do, lost friendships). You writing was a needed reminder that I need to have more of the fun stuff, even if it’s going to see Barbie for a third time because it is so so much fun. I also will have I’m Just Ken stuck in my head for eternity it seems and I’m okay with that.
Oh, Emma…That is a lot of heavy in the heaviest (to me) month of them all. I’m impressed that you were able to pull yourself over to the desk to write this newsletter (and share the tidbits at the bottom…book looks like it needs to be added to my TBR pile.) Hang in there…September cometh…
I'm so proud of you for finding joy through the grief. My parents' death anniversary is September 5th. That week is hard for me even after 30 years. I'm not going to say it gets easier, it doesn't. Your tolerance just expands.
I love when you share memories of your father with us. I'm sure he loves it too. 💕 Sending you a squeeze through the ether.
Thank you for posting this. I have had several friends’ deaths this past month as well as the anniversary of my brother’s death at 33. It was 32 years ago but is still quite difficult. I have tried to keep my life “normal” as well, knowing that all of these people, if they could, would be telling me to enjoy the rest of my life. It is so fragile.
Loved your email. Reading it made me tear up. My husband lost his father a year ago. Grief can be so lonely and isolating and all consuming. It's really good that you said "yes to invitations" as we've found that relief from the grief and the surprise at enjoying life can be such a balm, if even only a temporary one.
Loss of every kind (and the grief that follows) is something we all have in common. It's so helpful to share and support each other. Glad to hear you're finding a way through. Keep going and take care.
Sending love to your big, expansive, feeling, hot pink heart.
I'm so sorry for your losses. Your mother's friend, your friend, your father, the person who disappeared from your life. Grief is a tough battle to fight. All of your readers love you and are here for you each and every day.
I'm so sorry for your losses.
Thanks for your post, the first I've read of yours. I would not have been inclined to revisit my August horror stories had I not stumbled upon your SubStack. Karma?! Last August, while on holiday with our two dogs in a remote Spanish hill town, we had to put the elder of the two down when he became deathly ill. We and other dog were bereft. When we returned home to LA, our other dog died, literally, of a broken heart. It was gut wrenching. And then there's my mother, who killed herself twenty one years ago August 28th. My father had already successfully done the same several months earlier. I rarely talk about it and only wrote about it once which felt like enough. Despite being a writer and writing "teacher," encouraging people to reveal their own stories, I don't like to revisit mine. This post is a big step!
Thank you for putting into writing so beautifully exactly what I’m feeling now, too. My Dad also fell and broke his hip 1 year ago, and we also thought he’d pull through. Apparently when you break a hip and have cancer, it can make the cancer very angry. I was still struggling so much with the recent loss of my Dad, when I lost my Mom this May. Through her loss, there’s been a lot of heartbreak, betrayal, and tragedy. All this to say -- I feel this so strongly. And I appreciate you putting into words what I can’t. Xo
Thank you so much for taking time to write, Emma.. you give us so much to think about. It’s like sitting with you on my back porch, cold lemonade and fresh mint from the garden. Hummingbirds hovering way too close. A slice of tomato pie. You are a good friend and a joy.. and I hope you find peace this month and every season.
I met your dad briefly at a How I Learned show and basically the only thing I remember about meeting him is how much he adored you, because it was so clearly plastered all over his face.
I hear you, Emma!
Wishing you well in a tough month. Here in England it has rained for weeks, ever since July the 15th when it rained on St Swithins Day. The old curse is back.