Emma, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm in this crappy club, too, having lost both parents in a six week span last year (a spectacular year! ugh). I've found depths of anger I didn't know I had, as well as moments of pure joy at appreciating the legacy of my dad's peculiar humour I see in both me and my kids. Whenever we make inappropriate remarks to each other, I know my dad is still with us.
Oh, Emma, I love you so! My heart hurts for your loss. Your words can’t even contain the truth you know. My husband died recently and I see the pain in my children’s heart for the loss of him. I feel the erasure of all that he knew when he looked at me. Your being and knowing and feeling put into words is a balm for me, though cutting.
I'm in the complicated relationships with estranged for good reason parent club, and I've often, over the years, as you've posted bits about your parents envied what I imagined to be such a loving, fun, come as you are household. And despite, having my parents - I've lost some really great people. One just very suddenly and recently (at only 55, so carpe diem!) which is all to say, I know, of all the human emotions, grief is the biggest ass kick of them all. It's an unpredictable bitch slap, though ranting and crying do offer their own catharsis, it does not lessen the black hole loss has left you with. Thanks for sharing all the feelings! I wish more people did, so more people knew it was okay to give their hurts some air. Much love as you continue on in this-
I’m a bookseller and I staff rec’d this time tomorrow and noted that it’s a lovely tribute to a dad daughter relationship. The honesty and vulnerability in your writing brings many help in navigating hard things and in recognizing and appreciating all the beautiful moments, too.
Writing is therapy. Writing anger--writing it energetically and painstakingly relatable to even those who have not yet had a similar experience--is an art.
Hi Emma; so sorry about losing your dad. My dad has been gone for six years now, and it’s a space in my life that just can’t be filled. It sucks and I’m sorry and dammit, why can’t funny and loving and big presence dads live forever?! Take good care of yourself. Xo
Very sorry for your loss. May your Dad's memory be for a blessing. My Dad died 1 1 1/2 years ago. I feel his loss daily but it helps to talk to him occasionally as I walk or go about my day, letting him know whats new, how the family is doing, etc.
A perfect amount of metaphors! rooms leading to rooms with nooks to crannies and crawlspaces and closets and windows and floorboards and dust bunnies with funny tails. Thank you for this with all the attendant anger necessary! Rage on with heart full. You are wonderful.
Dear Emma - I love your books and am new to this space. When I read about your father’s passing, I felt so badly for you, having read how close your were and how he read your latest book before it was published. I am so sorry for your great loss. I lost my wonderful dad 17 years ago, and I remember so well that feeling of being unanchored. I believe that the best parts of him will live on in you and in your children. He left you so much. Wishing you peace at this time. And, yes, Anderson is our brother. His podcast is a great gift.
I get it, all of it. My dad died unexpectedly while I was on a trip in Kenya. Although I was tenderly cared for by the women in my travel group and the Kenyan women we were working with, I was angry about so many things. It especially angered me that the leaders of my group knew before I did and carefully arranged a time for my husband to tell me by phone. They did what they thought was best, and it was better hearing it from my husband, but it still enraged me. Supportive hugs and thoughts from me to you. Your cats are adorable!
You're doing Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proud. So many deadbeat Dads in this world -- so glad yours was legendary, that you're emulating his stellar parenting, and that you have lots of love and good cats around to buffer the waves.
First, Emma, I am so very sorry for your loss. I read this today and started to cry. I lost my beloved wheaten terrier, Brinkley of 9 years to cancer. Nine years of training, spending countless money on treats to find his favorites, 9 years of chest kisses and belly rubs and stinky frito paw smells, 9 years of him sleeping on my bed of snuggling up on lazy sunday mornings and Dunkin' runs for me and him. I miss him. He passed in July and I am still grieving. And I too am angry. I will listen to Anderson's podcast and one day I will consider another canine friend. He or she will be different but when the time is right, I look forward to the new journey. And I will still cry over my beloved Brinkley.
Here for all this anger, and all the cats (yes, of course there is a Best Cat as well as fine cats) and mostly just so appreciate you sharing this because it is so helpful to read about complicated, nuanced experiences with grief. And you don't need to do that for us AT ALL but just know that when you do, you are giving us such a gift as well as, I hope, helping yourself through the day/hour/minute. Sending love.
Emma, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm in this crappy club, too, having lost both parents in a six week span last year (a spectacular year! ugh). I've found depths of anger I didn't know I had, as well as moments of pure joy at appreciating the legacy of my dad's peculiar humour I see in both me and my kids. Whenever we make inappropriate remarks to each other, I know my dad is still with us.
Six week span! How fucking cruel. That is so awful, I'm so sorry. <3
Oh, Emma, I love you so! My heart hurts for your loss. Your words can’t even contain the truth you know. My husband died recently and I see the pain in my children’s heart for the loss of him. I feel the erasure of all that he knew when he looked at me. Your being and knowing and feeling put into words is a balm for me, though cutting.
I'm in the complicated relationships with estranged for good reason parent club, and I've often, over the years, as you've posted bits about your parents envied what I imagined to be such a loving, fun, come as you are household. And despite, having my parents - I've lost some really great people. One just very suddenly and recently (at only 55, so carpe diem!) which is all to say, I know, of all the human emotions, grief is the biggest ass kick of them all. It's an unpredictable bitch slap, though ranting and crying do offer their own catharsis, it does not lessen the black hole loss has left you with. Thanks for sharing all the feelings! I wish more people did, so more people knew it was okay to give their hurts some air. Much love as you continue on in this-
I’m a bookseller and I staff rec’d this time tomorrow and noted that it’s a lovely tribute to a dad daughter relationship. The honesty and vulnerability in your writing brings many help in navigating hard things and in recognizing and appreciating all the beautiful moments, too.
Writing is therapy. Writing anger--writing it energetically and painstakingly relatable to even those who have not yet had a similar experience--is an art.
Felt this in my bones.
Hi Emma; so sorry about losing your dad. My dad has been gone for six years now, and it’s a space in my life that just can’t be filled. It sucks and I’m sorry and dammit, why can’t funny and loving and big presence dads live forever?! Take good care of yourself. Xo
Very sorry for your loss. May your Dad's memory be for a blessing. My Dad died 1 1 1/2 years ago. I feel his loss daily but it helps to talk to him occasionally as I walk or go about my day, letting him know whats new, how the family is doing, etc.
A perfect amount of metaphors! rooms leading to rooms with nooks to crannies and crawlspaces and closets and windows and floorboards and dust bunnies with funny tails. Thank you for this with all the attendant anger necessary! Rage on with heart full. You are wonderful.
Just joined this before your dad died. I'm sorry. My wish is that your community here helps you through this new territory.
Dear Emma - I love your books and am new to this space. When I read about your father’s passing, I felt so badly for you, having read how close your were and how he read your latest book before it was published. I am so sorry for your great loss. I lost my wonderful dad 17 years ago, and I remember so well that feeling of being unanchored. I believe that the best parts of him will live on in you and in your children. He left you so much. Wishing you peace at this time. And, yes, Anderson is our brother. His podcast is a great gift.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. ❤️🩹
I get it, all of it. My dad died unexpectedly while I was on a trip in Kenya. Although I was tenderly cared for by the women in my travel group and the Kenyan women we were working with, I was angry about so many things. It especially angered me that the leaders of my group knew before I did and carefully arranged a time for my husband to tell me by phone. They did what they thought was best, and it was better hearing it from my husband, but it still enraged me. Supportive hugs and thoughts from me to you. Your cats are adorable!
You're doing Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proud. So many deadbeat Dads in this world -- so glad yours was legendary, that you're emulating his stellar parenting, and that you have lots of love and good cats around to buffer the waves.
First, Emma, I am so very sorry for your loss. I read this today and started to cry. I lost my beloved wheaten terrier, Brinkley of 9 years to cancer. Nine years of training, spending countless money on treats to find his favorites, 9 years of chest kisses and belly rubs and stinky frito paw smells, 9 years of him sleeping on my bed of snuggling up on lazy sunday mornings and Dunkin' runs for me and him. I miss him. He passed in July and I am still grieving. And I too am angry. I will listen to Anderson's podcast and one day I will consider another canine friend. He or she will be different but when the time is right, I look forward to the new journey. And I will still cry over my beloved Brinkley.
Here for all this anger, and all the cats (yes, of course there is a Best Cat as well as fine cats) and mostly just so appreciate you sharing this because it is so helpful to read about complicated, nuanced experiences with grief. And you don't need to do that for us AT ALL but just know that when you do, you are giving us such a gift as well as, I hope, helping yourself through the day/hour/minute. Sending love.
Sending lots of love.